Oh boy. It's sort of surreal that this class is over, honestly. I remember at the beginning of this year, I was so excited about the prospect of finally being in AP art. I'd seen all of these talented students taking the class before me, and it felt like this weirdly unattainable thing. I knew I'd be in the class one day, but part of me still felt like I was still sitting in Art II looking over at the AP kids in independent study. It's funny to me that at the end of Art IV last year I said that it was "one of the most stressful experiences of my high school career." I just want to look back at myself and be like "honey, you've got a big storm coming." I don't think anything really prepared me for the emotional and physical stress of doing 12 pieces in a semester (give or take). As many times as I just wanted to throw in the towel and not even do a portfolio at times, and after so many pieces that I was so frustrated with I just wanted to give up, I can honestly say that this class was crazy fulfilling. I learned that I'm way more hardworking under pressure than I'd previously thought, and I can actually do the things I set my mind to. Beyond that, it was just so cool to have the experience of having this huge body of work (24 pieces, y'all) and being able to share it with other people. Having an art show at the end of the year definitely brought things home as well, because I'd never had the experience of having these real, meaningful conversations with other people about my art. And I'd be lying if I didn't say how gratifying it was that total strangers were able to identify with some of my pieces, and really understand my work. It's so hard to explain how I feel when I think about all of the people who were just so kind to me the night of the art show. I feel like crying and laughing all at the same time. I know some people would say it's superficial to take what other people say about your work so seriously, but when you've been working for all of this time on like, a million pieces, hearing other people say that they love what you've done is incredible. This class has brought me so many amazing relationships, friends, and memories. Even through all of the stress, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm not really sure where or what I'll end up doing in the future, but I know that art is going to be a part of my life no matter what. It always has been, from back when I painted my entire body blue, or drew on the walls of my older brother's bedroom. Art is part of who I am now, I'm stuck with it, and I couldn't be happier about it. Just please don't ask me to create a 24 piece portfolio ever again.
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